How to Respond to Toxic People God’s Way?
📖 Scripture Reading: Luke 6:27–28, Psalm 50:19–21, John 13:34–35
When it seems like God is silent in a particular matter, it doesn’t mean you have permission to revenge or take action against your attackers/enemies. No, God is not blind to what is happening to you. He sees everything!
I was reading Romans 3:13–14 and suddenly realized no one is supposed to surrender themselves as victims to verbally abuse. Just because there is no physical wound, doesn’t nullify emotional wounds!
Jesus Christ called us to love one another, but sacrificial love does not mean losing yourself under someone’s emotional and psychological assaults until you’ve become entirely broken and unable to discern good behavior from bad behavior.
Emotional or psychological assaults can take many forms, including :
1. Verbal — yelling, insulting, or swearing at someone.
2. Rejection — pretending not to notice someone’s presence, conversation or value.
3. Gaslighting or Verbal Put-downs — name calling, public embarrassment, calling someone stupid, blaming them for everything, twisting and turning the facts around in their favor.
4. Inflicting fear — causing someone to feel afraid, intimidated, or threatened.
5. Isolation — limiting freedom of movement, stopping someone from contacting other people (like friends or family) as a result of smear campaigns.
6. Bullying- purposely and repeatedly saying or doing hurtful things to someone, suggestive messages, smear campaigns.
So back to my question, how do you respond to toxic people God’s way?
We are to love the sinner and hate the sin. So we are supposed to love everybody even if they are abusive, hateful, or vindictive towards us, etc. We must remember that our employers, spouses, children, pastors, and relatives are humans and thus have their share of faults and weaknesses…just like we do. It is written in Romans 3:23, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
Agape Love or selfless/sacrificial love is not blind love.
“Love is not blind, it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” — Rabbi Julius Gordon
Because Love sees more, we too should be discerning with what we are willing to see less. We are not supposed to blindly surrender ourselves as victims to anyone. It is written in Matthew 10:16, “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves. Be ye, therefore, wise as serpents and harmless as doves”.
If someone is deliberately causing you emotional pain repetitively, and unremorsefully, then they’re abusive regardless of what signs are present or absent — consider this scripture, 📖 1 Corinthians 10:13–14 Amplified :
“No temptation [regardless of its source] has overtaken or enticed you that is not common to human experience [nor is any temptation unusual or beyond human resistance]; but God is faithful [to His word — He is compassionate and trustworthy], and He will not let you be tempted beyond your ability [to resist], but along with the temptation He [has in the past and is now and] will [always] provide the way out as well, so that you will be able to endure it [without yielding, and will overcome temptation with joy].
Therefore, my beloved, run [keep far, far away] from [any sort of] idolatry [and that includes loving anything more than God, or participating in anything that leads to sin and enslaves the soul]. “
God would not give you a burden that you cannot bear, so stand your ground. Do not allow anyone to undermine you, for God does not give a spirit of Fear! If they won’t listen to you; if they won’t stop criticizing, humiliating, belittling, or berating you; if they won’t stop isolating, ignoring, or rejecting you…
Don’t entertain them! Don’t justify yourself!
Again, Never try to justify yourself to anyone who is bullying you, gaslighting, insulting you, or using any form of manipulation. The more you try to justify yourself the more uncertain and confused you become. That moment of weakness is enough to let the enemy’s judgment creep into your heart.
Being ‘Christian’ does NOT mean that you have to tolerate bad behavior, assaults, or abuse.
Being ‘Christian’ does NOT mean that you never set limits on someone’s behavior.
Being ‘Christian’ does NOT mean you have to give up all hope of ever being treated better and/or sacrifice your own health and well-being for someone.
Being ‘Christian’ does NOT mean you’re a doormat.
Showing love, care, and compassion at a distance are possible —but it depends… if you are in the position move away from the toxic person. The Bible teaches us to forgive those who hurt us, love our enemies, do good to those who hate us, bless those who curse us, and pray for those who mistreat us.
